When we begin personal growth work in the present, one of the most important practices is offering compassion to our past selves.
We have all experienced pain, trauma, and difficulty — often during times when we lacked the tools or support to cope. Meeting our younger selves with empathy can deepen our understanding of who we are today and help heal wounds that may still quietly shape our lives.
Healing old pain is an essential part of growth, but so is celebrating the moments that brought us joy.
It’s equally important to revisit experiences of happiness, achievement, and gratitude, and to understand the emotional needs that were fulfilled in those moments. During a recent GROK Party, we explored this through a GROK game called *Celebration*.
The exercise was simple but powerful: think of a moment that brought joy, relief, gratitude, or satisfaction. Then identify the emotions you felt and choose several Feelings cards that match them. Next, select Needs cards representing the needs that were fulfilled in that experience.
By reconnecting with positive emotions and the needs beneath them, we can better understand what nourishes us and amplify those experiences in our lives.
Naturally, I chose one of the most meaningful moments of my life: the rocky road to conception and birth of my daughter.
After two years of trying to start a family, my husband and I were told we had only a 2–4% chance of conceiving naturally. I won’t go deeply into the heartbreak of infertility, but I will say it was the darkest period of my life — even compared to recovering from alcohol addiction and an eating disorder.
When I finally became pregnant through IVF, I celebrated cautiously with my fertility support group and loved ones. Then, nine months later as fireworks lit the sky on the Fourth of July, we welcomed our baby girl into the world.
It felt as though the whole world was celebrating with us.
As I reflected on that experience during the exercise, I realized I had never fully paused to acknowledge the depth of my feelings or the needs that had been fulfilled. From the Feelings deck, I chose: Ecstatic, Joyful, Amazed, Thankful, Grateful, and Encouraged.
Tears streamed down my face as I held those cards.
My daughter’s birth truly was miraculous to me. I felt overwhelming joy meeting her for the first time, and I remain deeply grateful to be her mother. I also felt encouraged — hopeful that my body and future were more capable than I had believed.
Then came the Needs cards. I selected: Love, Hope, Meaning & Purpose, Empowerment, Trust, and Reassurance.
There is something profoundly healing about connecting fulfilled needs with the emotions they create.
My daughter brought me a love I had never known before. Her birth restored hope, gave me renewed purpose, and helped me trust both my body and life again. It reminded me that healing is possible, and that miracles sometimes arrive after we’ve nearly stopped believing in them.
Most of all, the experience reminded me that we are often far more resilient — and far more capable — than we realize.
