Recently, significant changes unfolded as three-year-old Charlie, his dad Fin, and I, both single parents, moved to Sacramento. As two single parents, Charlie’s dad Fin and I both often felt we were just trying to keep our heads above water. We knew we were unusually lucky in many ways. We are well aligned, for example, in our parenting styles, which is - truly - no small miracle. (Thank you RIE; Thank you NVC). Still, the toll of living in an expensive area, a 45 minute commutes between our two houses, and various realities related to parenting our toddler… well, life was still too often lonely, overwhelming, etc.
We spent many months exploring ways to make things more sustainable and, ultimately, we made the radical decision to relocate to a new city and rent a space big enough for the three of us. The concept is this. We share a number of resources but we maintain a clear childcare schedule. We’ve worked up various plans for cooking, grocery shopping, exercise, and teeny tiny little social lives out of the house - and we prioritize a certain amount of space each week for family connection here at home. Because, as Charlie so zealously puts it, “In the Sacramento house, Mama lives here, Dada lives here, and me lives here! In the Sacramento house!”
Sure, it's not without its difficulties. We've established a rhythm for day-to-day life, but societal and personal dynamics still present challenges. Am I nuts? Someone recently said I am, and well, maybe. But I'm also inspired by the belief that partnership can take various forms, even within one evolving relationship. So, here's to embracing that diversity!
Nevertheless, I'll remain humble – we're crossing our fingers and seeing how it all unfolds. Your best wishes are greatly appreciated!
Lately, my heart is overflowing with joy, thanks to the delightful presence of my two little grandchildren. They're absolute treasures—so full of life and completely tuned into the present moment. I find myself happily trailing after them, letting them lead
the way and embracing the spontaneous adventures that unfold.
My gardening buddy is the 4-year-old, and it's a riot to watch the 2-year-old groove to his own internal musical beat—I even got him this super cool drum! Seeing them thrive and being both happy and emotionally aware is a true blessing. More than anything, I hope to instill in them the values of kindness, resilience, and flexibility to carry them through the years ahead.
Speaking of family, it's been a real theme in my life this year. I spent a solid three days immersed in the warm chaos of my husband's 60 closest Midwestern relatives. Then, another two days were dedicated to soaking up the love from siblings, nieces, nephews, grand nieces, and nephews. The cycle of life keeps turning, and I'm just humbled and so grateful for these rich social connections.
On the work front, I had the wonderful opportunity to co-teach 'NVC and Patriarchy' with the amazing NVC Master Teacher Lucy Leu. It was eye-opening to realize how much I've internalized patriarchy in my 71 years! (working on unlearning and unleashing the inner hag) I'm also deeply involved in a Buddhist conversation group called "Insight Dialogue" and a Collective Trauma Group that's been a weekly anchor for three years now. Still finding immense joy in being part of GROKtheWORLD, and I'm currently in the early stages of discussing how my daughter Claire will gradually take over my half of the business in the coming years. Exciting times ahead!