As a clinician, consultant, or someone in a helping profession, you’ve likely seen how easily clients and students can get stuck in cycles of blame and criticism—whether directed at themselves or others. 
It can be challenging to move the conversation beyond "who’s at fault" and toward something more meaningful.
In Nonviolent Communication (NVC), one of the most powerful shifts we can offer is helping clients and students understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. When they can identify their own feelings and needs, it becomes easier to move away from blame and focus on what truly matters.
Here’s how you can support clients in this process:
- Help them name their feelings. Often, clients react from a place of judgment or story without realizing what they’re feeling. Guiding clients to identify emotions like disappointment, anger, or fear helps them connect to their internal experience and see it for what it is, instead of staying stuck in blame.
- Clarify the needs behind those feelings. Once clients recognize what they’re feeling, the next step is to help them pinpoint the unmet needs driving those emotions. Whether it’s a need for connection, understanding, or autonomy, naming these needs gives them clarity about what they’re truly seeking.
One practical way to support this process is by using GROK Feelings and Needs cards. They make it easier for clients to articulate their internal experience, giving them the language to express themselves more clearly and confidently. Over time, this practice strengthens their ability to navigate challenging situations with more self-awareness and compassion.
Here’s what a two coaches/clinicians have shared about their experiences using GROK Feelings and Needs cards with clients:
- “Facilitating between a GM and his management team…the tool that made the difference to the whole process? The GROK cards!” - Angela Heise, Leadership Development Consultant
- “I use the GROK cards in the residential juvenile detention center where I work as the school social worker. We play Empathy Poker, and the students love using the cards to share their needs, especially for privacy, choice, autonomy and respect. It's been a wonderful tool.” - Lisa Gottlieb MSW, SSW
If you’re ready to explore how GROK tools can help you empower your clients or students to identify their feelings and needs, we’d love to help you get started.
Warmly,
Mary
PS. Have you seen our YouTube channel makeover? 🎉 We’ve freshened things up and added new content to support your NVC journey. Head on over to youtube.com/@GROK-the-World and take a look—we’d love to hear what you think! 🦒💛